December
March 17 at 8:00am
Good morning Nadia.
Today is not a good day – I did not sleep well at all, in fact I had to practice some yoga breathing just to get my heart rate to go down every time I woke up in the night so I could get some rest.
My eyes look SO GROSS.
I prayed for your wellness last night though… and well, we both know how well my prayers work!
Have a good day and I will be thinking of you.
December
Nadia
March 17 at 8:11am
Hey December, I will be sending all the strength I can muster to you today too…. I seem to be compartmentalizing this, as I come to the realization that I was duped by a con artist, a man without conscience. And to know that it is only better without him!!! Even though the body doesn’t realize it yet, still sick.
Your prayers must be powerful; I am definitely feeling them.
Today doesn’t have to be a good day, it can be the shittiest day ever, it just means you’re really doing this fully. Not like guys who will have to have this shit haunt them for years.
It’s only day 3!!!!
I’m still angry, I still wish he could be punished as publicly and brutally as possible. It sucks that we are the fallout from this mess.
Nadia
March 17 at 8:14am
This is a note from a dear and wise friend and it really is for both of us:
WOW! Lol…..talk about living a Mayaa, more for him than you! Amazing how he could live like that with two people he loved. That just blows my mind! It really reveals to you the person that he is as well as the tuned in person that you are. You’ve felt this for such a long time but just could not confirm it.
I know this is a trying time for you, but I am also very proud of you because the real you is being revealed.
The real person is free from this!
December
March 17 at 8:27am
Thank you. I am having the MOST DIFFICULT TIME today but I know that means I am reaching the peak of pain, and from there it is always a downhill glide.
I’m scared of being 35 and childless and alone. So scared.
Nadia
March 17 at 8:37am
Fuck, Halle Berry dated cheaters and womanizers til she was 40 then met ‘the one’ and had her first child! It is scary, I was comforting myself amazingly enough in that relationship that at least I’d found the person I was going to be with. Wow again, I was possibly the stupidest woman alive. Well maybe not stupider than Rhianna. Anyway, the fear is real and it is every woman’s fear. But you can still have a family, without a scumbag for a father.
My mum was 34 when she had me with my dad who was 51, and 37 when she had my brother. Maybe we stayed with Volga in large part to ease the fear of facing the future alone. Although I was really alone, who am I kidding. I was living in a dream. That is what is helping me now.
My first tattoo even says ‘dream’ lol maybe maybe hopefully hopefully this is the end of that karma, doubt it, but i can hope!
That’s the fear that so many women bring to my guru in India, the fear of being alone and wanting children so bad. If I can find an audio clip to send, I swear if you can understand his accent it could be really helpful. Not even death is real, everything else is just a ripple in the illusion! The only thing that is real is the power that is making you breath, which you are totally tuned into! Your powerful perception and knowing qualities. All the pain and fear will wash over us, I promise.
December
March 17 at 8:51am
Iknow you are right. And thanks for the info. I too think that maybe I overlooked a lot:
a. Because he is so fucking GORGEOUS and
b. Because he was so good to me when he was around that I actually thought I would put up with all the other stuff and
c. Because, same as you, I thought I had found MY PERSON and I also thought that maybe I was over-reacting, wanting and needing too much, being unreasonable. I was trying to be a better person….. but like you, I was being tricked.
And I know better too – I know I deserve and CAN HAVE anything and everything I want and need to be happy.
One night I was staying over at my Gramma’s house….. (I would go there and help her clean and stuff…..)
And she told me this story of how she met her darling beau of eight years, Dougie.
After my Granddad had died in 1980 she led a very lonely, sad life, with only 2 significant but yucky love relationships.
After they were over, she was very lonely….and decided to say a prayer to God, to send her a man.
She laid in bed that night and prayed very specifically for the exact type of man she hoped God would send her.
Let him be a good dancer,
Let him be a non-smoker,
Let him be a casual drinker only,
Let him love animals……..on and on and on……….
Well, not two weeks later, she met Dougie. He was everything she had prayed for right down to the letter….EXCEPT:
She suddenly realized she had forgotten to ask God to make him TALL. Dougie is a very short man.
So I heard this…and I thought WHAT THE HELL? I believe in God.
I don’t necessarily believe in asking for such minor little details…but I’ll give it a whirl.
As I laid in bed that night….I asked God for MY man to come:
Let him like to have fun,
Let him be loyal,
Let him be truthful,
Let him love cats,
Let him have patience,
Let him be understanding of women,
Let him be single,
Let him like my cooking….
I went on and on for about half an hour with all the selfish little details of my dream man.
Well I shit you not, about two weeks later I met my Dustin. And he was every single freaking detail I had prayed for……and I realized:
I HAD FORGOTTEN TO ASK GOD TO MAKE HIM RIGHT FOR ME.
Anyways, after that I was VERY CAREFUL not to leave out a single detail when I prayed for the right man to come along. I never missed a thing. And along came Volga, and he was perfect. Everything i had EVER DREAMED ABOUT.
Only now do I see I forgot to ask God to make sure he had a SOUL.
SO LESSON LEARNED??????
Stop praying for all the qualities you think you want, and just let God’s plan happen. He’s making a mockery of me to teach me that I am a control freak and if i just chill out and let him take the reigns, everything will be perfect. Whoa that was a long email.
D
Nadia
March 17 at 9:09am
Whoa is this a literal story or just an incredible parable that you penned? Wow that’s brilliant.
I also believe in God, but not as separate from anything… I think this was all God’s play, the play of light and shadow. Always inviting us to know the source of the light and not believe the shadows as real.
It was always such a paradox for me, loving this person who had no real sense of the real me that was beyond all the stories. He wanted me to be only a story, a balm. Without him things can finally start moving!
I am going to totally re-evaluate what I’m looking for in a guy. No more charming. No more love at first sight. No more torture in the form of teasing. No more indirect answers. HAHA sounds like I am making a list for god too, but in negatives!
December
March 17 at 9:17am
No its a literal story, its how I met my husband, and then Volga.
I just sent an email to Gary.
And omg you are so right – NO MORE TORTURE in the form of teasing, that was the worst. And no more indirect answers omg.
December
March 17 at 9:17am
Gary,
How could you have been in the know for three long years that Volga was fucking over two women?
You have “befriended” both of us and you know that we are both kind-hearted, and loving people.
It’s not your fault that he has done this, but you should be ashamed of yourself that you never told either one of us.
You stayed in my house when you came to Penticton!
Have you any idea what kind of pain this has caused Nadia and myself, and my entire family who, for three years have ADORED that man and treated him like their own son?
I am completely devastated! And the “affair” itself is not the most painful part – it is thinking I actually knew him, deeply and intimately for three fucking years, only to find out he is a completely different person then he pretended to be. Do you have any idea of the psychological damage this is causing me?
He had everybody fooled.
It is my belief that no normal human is capable of carrying on such a constant string of never ending LIES and BETRAYALS unless they are some kind of psychopath or sociopath.
There are many other characteristics of Volga that also point to this profile. He is a master of illusion and deceit, pretending to be everybody’s friend and living a completely separate life behind all their backs. He does not seem to feel empathy or sympathy or care about how he is hurting people. He is egocentrical. Even now, when asked WHY he did it, all he can do is make empty suicide threats and talk about what an asshole HE is. He has no concept of how deeply he has wounded our souls. Everything is about HIM, to this very day. And he is trying to pretend he is sorry for what he did, but he’s only sorry he got caught. He claims he could not find a way out of the mess, well THATS A LIE. Both of us gave him plenty of chances to be free, Nadia tried to leave him many times and like me, he would not let her go. For THREE years he kept this going. He has even gone as far as to try and blame it on ME, saying our relationship wasn’t perfect and I pushed him away. Are you fucking kidding me??????
Maybe you think this is funny? Maybe you think he is clever to have pulled it off for so long? You hung out with them all the time and yet you knew I was here, his fiancee, LIVING with him in a house with pets and family close by. How could you not tell us?
I hope you are ashamed of yourself and I wanted you to know what a mess he has made and to beware of anything that comes out of his mouth. If he can sit here and look us in the eye and tell us he loves us and then go away and do the exact same thing to another for THREE YEARS, who knows WHAT he is capable of.
December
December
March 17 at 9:21am
Oh and i sent an email to Volga earlier on and just got a reply. This is my therapy, expressing my feelings in writing, it always has been. But now I feel sorry for the bastard. When will i learn???
———————
I’m trying to realize what you are – a con man with no conscience.
It is the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. The Volga I know is caring and considerate and loving and attentive and loyal, and you are nothing like him.
And yet I knew him for three years, and so did Nadia. THREE YEARS you faked your entire personality.
The Volga I loved was only an illusion. Why do you put on such brutal illusions? Do you have ANY IDEA of the level of pain you have caused us?
Of the lives you have destroyed in your wake? It’s catastrophic.
But I guess you would not be able to fathom that kind of emotion, because you are void of feeling. No human with feeling in his heart could hurt people as callously as you have done.
And to top it off, we get nothing but lies lies and more lies. Everything you have ever said has been a lie.
I am having the most difficult time in the world wrapping my head around trying to separate the Volga I knew and loved, and the one who has smashed my heart and mind into a million fragments. It’s not so much the cheating that hurts, I think if you had just had some love affair it would at least make SENSE, but this is not some love affair. This is three years of deceit and lie upon lie and brutal, callous BETRAYAL. You are not normal.
Again, I implore you to seek counsel, because you are not a well person. You faked an entire life with me. Everything was FAKE.
Do you have any idea how difficult that is to do? It’s not human.
Will you ever understand how much this has hurt me? How much it hurts me RIGHT THIS MINUTE????????????????
It is immeasureable.
—————————————–
December,
I am SORRY!!! I AM SORRY !!! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
You can believe what ever you want to believe it will help you deal with what I have done. But I FU@# KNOW how much it hurts because as I sit here curled up in a ball in sadness and tears. Realizing what I have done and how much I have hurt every one. Regardless of any excuses, I am all those things you say…. And I find it hard to live with myself…I do … I can’t expect you to believe me now and believe me for every but I am full of regrets and sadness. If I didn’t give a shit do you think I would try to write to both of you to explain things and apologize? If I was as you describe I would just walk away and continue my life with our remorse…. But yet I am in tears and locked up in my suite by myself away from any one… because I INCREDIBLY FEAL FU@#$ SAD!!! And GUITY!!! EMBARASSED!!!
I AM SORRY!!! To be honest I am honestly having a tough time living with myself at the moment… if it helps you deal with this you can take and destroy any of my prized possession in my life…. burnt it destroy it or sell it or what ever… I will stand in front of me if you want to stab me if that help.
Volga
December
March 17 at 9:28am
I have to take my dog London to work now, she is a St. John Ambulance Therapy Dog and volunteers at the hospital, visiting patients. Its really something. I’ll be back in a couple hours.
Listen, do me a huge favor, ok? Don’t EVER give up on Love At First Sight. Instead, go out right now and pick up Tori Spelling’s book, ‘sTORI Telling’. Its weird, but her book totally inspired me to believe in REAL LOVE, even after all the shit. It REALLY LIFTED ME UP and I want you to read it.
See you soon
D
Nadia
March 17 at 9:33am
Omg thank you for sharing those letters. You fucking rule and I am so proud of us both. I have to walk into a class, but I am buoyed by the strength and powerful words you have expressed to both.
Nadia
March 17 at 11:59am
I like how he prefaced the last paragraph ‘to be honest…’ hahahahaha am i…. laughing about it?? And his magnanimous offer to destroy his prized possessions!!! Wow what a martyr!!!!
I will definitely look for Tori Spelling’s book. I have not been able to read or do any work for school, going to have to force myself soon.
I would send you that email I wrote him but it says all the exact same things, adding that he was just fucking with my life, stopping me from finding something meaningful. Soulless. Remorse that comes now is not real remorse for what he’s created here. It’s just self pity.
I had one empowering moment today so far, when I knew I should eat something so I went to the cafeteria and took two little packets of cheddar cheese, and didn’t realize they were so overpriced til she had rung them through. So I wanted to put one back and she said it was too late she couldn’t void it. I persisted, but she refused. So I said ‘I feel forced to buy something I don’t want’ and was just going to pay anyway and then said “No, no I’m not taking it.” Then she *suddenly* remembered how to void.
This is just a tiny example of this resolve I feel not to get fucked over ever again. I’ve taken landlords to court and won, I love fighting for what is right. And this fight will not be with the ‘wrongdoer’ I don’t think, this will be fighting against any power he has left over me. It resonated so strongly when you wrote about bettering yourself and not being the demanding girlfriend. I just thought I was too demanding (omg i demanded nothing crazy though) and was trying to better myself as a person by being totally loving and understanding and supportive. Okay I realize that is not the source of my power, being walked all over. Now I am going to have very high standards for the way people treat me if they want to be in my life.
December
March 17 at 12:05pm
LOL!!!!!!!!!! That’s awesome! and I totally know what you are saying! I have had people come to or at me wanting something, and when I tell them its not possible, they try to do their Jedi mind tricks on me and force my hand: strong, unfaltering eye contact is one of their weapons, but I’ve learned to recognize it immediately and stand my ground – if that means returning their gaze until it feels sooooooooooo uncomfortable and eventually THEY look away, or not starting to mumble a weak response because they have thrown me off guard, but rather, taking a firm stand, and it usually throws THEM off guard.
How dare those people try to control us? Don’t they know what we are going through and how powerful that makes us????
Nadia
March 17 at 12:08pm
Omg they have no idea. All of these people filling this stupid college have no idea the power that is raging inside this person walking with them.
Btw I was just going to ask if you ever read the most hilarious blog in my opinion www.gofugyourself.celebuzz.com so I was going to send you the link, and in going there the first entry I read today was fucking painfully hilarious. I waste too much time but get so much joy from those writers.
December
March 17 at 12:12pm
Oh cool thanks – I love following the lives of celebrities, and this is funny stuff.
December
March 17 at 12:35pm
So I called his bluff on the whole ‘I can burn all his shit if I want to” routine gaaaaaaaawd and now he’s trying another tactic.
Now he says he’s depositing money into my account, I wonder how much?
And he doesn’t know I already deposited a cheque from him for $3000.
I wonder if it will go through… I know he is $10,000 into his line of credit but I don’t know how deep his line of credit goes.
December
March 17 at 12:42pm
I’m getting my bathroom renovated come hell or high water.
Nadia
March 17 at 1:36pm
I’m glad he’s actually doing it! On the upside, its a good time to reno, no price gouging anymore (weak smile).
Even though I gave all the ‘stuff’ back I’m so glad I can never give India back, he helped me to get there last year. So weird, I thought he was supporting my spiritual growth. Well ironically maybe so, through all this shit.
Are you going to be okay if he comes to get his stuff? My mum painted an awesome alternative image to the mass assault, just to have a mass presence to shame him. You could have everyone over just silently supporting you.
December
March 17 at 1:38pm
How did he help you get to India? Financially you mean? When and how long were you gone for?
December
March 17 at 1:39pm
He told me Gary had a girlfriend who left and went to India. Was he lying? Was it you?
December
March 17 at 1:39pm
God i feel so sick.
Nadia
March 17 at 1:41pm
Yeah financially and setting me up in crazy hotels and a driver, and his dear friend who of course I have written to tell him about this.
This was last jan/feb I was only there a month or so…
December
March 17 at 1:44pm
Wow. That hurt to hear. Gawd, this is so insane.
Nadia
March 17 at 1:45pm
Oh no, Gary did have a friend who left for India, that was true. Ew I listened to that guy talk about his heartache for months! Yet he didn’t think to stop being complacent in the heartwreck Volga was creating.
December
March 17 at 1:46pm
You mean like THIS YEAR?? Or over a year ago?
December
March 17 at 1:46pm
Fuck I’m just reeling in pain right now. It’s awful.
December
March 17 at 1:48pm
I’m going to get my hari done and have a tan now. I have to get sexy again, since I am now officially on the market again GAWD the dating pool here is super weak too. But then I guess, it only takes one soulmate to make it all work.
December
March 17 at 1:49pm
Hari lol, i meant hair.
Nadia
March 17 at 1:49pm
Ah fuck this is probably best not talked about. It was last feb not the one we just had.
But if anything maybe it creates the door to hate? It doesn’t feel right to talk about hate like its a good thing, but fuckin’ hell I sure see a purpose for it here.
December
March 17 at 1:51pm
I just don’t know.
December
March 17 at 1:51pm
Every thing was a lie. How can this be?
Nadia
March 17 at 1:52pm
Hahahaha yes exactly my thoughts too. I am forcing myself not to wear the ugly comfy pants all the time, made that mistake yesterday and just felt shitty and ugly LOL.
Nadia
March 17 at 1:56pm
The realizations keep crashing down, for me too, but I can’t argue when I realize it really was all lies to me. He did it so easily.
December
March 17 at 2:00pm
I gotta go, not feeling well at ALL. Have a good night at work ok? Peace
D
Nadia
March 17 at 2:02pm
Thank you, I will try. I hope this wasn’t the biggest punch in the stomach, oh God.
Nadia
March 17 at 9:37pm
I hope you are doing alright, I am feeling exhausted and will probably sleep naturally tonight. The tranquilizers were probably one reason my body felt so weird today. Like on an acid trip.
I hope you get a better sleep tonight too, your letters to everyone were the crowning moment of the day for sure.
Nadia
December
March 17 at 9:40pm
I have had the absolute WORST day…. but things can only get better right? I have been stuck dealing with the Psycho Pervert for the last hour as he tries to figure out how to transfer money into my account.
I have a feeling that other cheque I wrote myself will bounce.
I don’t want to talk to him anymore but unfortunately I have to. All it does is hurt me. But at the same time, I am addicted to email and messages and it’s hard for me to go without. I almost prefer talking to him over having no-one to talk to.
Today was really hard, I kept drifting in my mind to certain facts and would get that gut wrenching pain in my belly. I don’t know how long this torture will go on. I hope not for long.
I hope your day was better than mine.
December
March 17 at 9:45pm
On a happier note I DID get my hair done and go for a tan. I have to get naked with strangers again one of these days <sigh> so its time to get back into shape. My ass is so out of control right now.
My naturopath is a super magic and psychic woman, and she kindly did a meditation for me last night and this is the message she got:
“Your Guides/Soul stated flatly that you need another man. You have a lot of clearing out to do, physically and personally, and in a year, you will start fresh. You will have 2 children, on this path, one after the other, and I’ll help. You are still young and, they say, you need to be reminded of that!”
So I have hope – because I have seen her magic work, she’s the reason I quit smoking without even trying 4 months ago, and she’s a big part of the reason I found out about you and Volga and was able to break free from a dangerous relationship. So I hope she’s right.
December
March 17 at 9:47pm
I may change my mind, I’m quite fickle, but i think it’s best – if you don’t mind, if you don’t tell me any more details of your relationship with Volga. It has been good for me to know exactly what went on up to this point, so it is easier for me to accept the truth, but now it just hurts me so much. If you want, I will do the same for you. Although, i don’t know what we will talk about lol. Just our feelings I guess. That might work.
December
March 17 at 9:52pm
Oh and my mom checked out your posting on LiarsCheatsandBastards.com. Then she surfed around to see OTHER liars, cheats, and bastards.
You know what she told me??????????????????? Get this:
60% of the fuckers up there are…………… Turkish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes i said it. Fuckin’ A, Bubba.
Volga is still trying to make me believe he is not evil. Gawd i need to be free of him once and for all.
Nadia
March 17 at 9:54pm
Oh yes, after that last exchange this afternoon I vowed not to speak specifically of it again. I felt so worried. The pain is monumental and there’s no reason to make it worse.
I’m sorry you have to deal with him about the money, but hopefully it will come through soon and you can have the pleasure of ignoring him. I swear to God saying anything to him just keeps you locked into his energy. Saying nothing is SO POWERFUL. I think of so many wicked lines I could write back but it takes all my will power to just think fuck it, not giving anything to that fuckface. Not even a reaction.
December
March 17 at 9:56pm
Is it? I can’t wait to experience some power. I have a hard time NOT writing back the wicked lines… and he knows that so he sends messages to provoke me into replying. But once I get all this out of the way that will be my goal. I will have to find other hobbies, for when I am not sitting here waiting desperately to get another message from you, I am wanting to hear from him. It’s fucked. He has made me addicted to messages….. he’s like my heroin dealer… FUCK FUCK FUCK.
December
March 17 at 9:57pm
I cried at the top of my lungs, like really RAGED until I went hoarse, I let it all come out – in the car on the drive home from my parents house. My poor dogs were terrified and curled up into balls in the backseat, but I let it rip like you would not believe. So healing, so necessary. So not pretty ha ha.
December
March 17 at 10:01pm
And just so you know he says he is devastated that you will no longer talk to him. He said you are even more sensitive than I am, and he worries about how you are taking it. Omg I just realized how FUCKING GAY that sounds, i don’t want him to think you are suffering! I want him to think you are SO OVER IT. That fucker he is so high on himself, and I am totally feeding into his ego by telling how fucked up it has made me, why didn’t I take a lesson from you??????????????
December
March 17 at 10:03pm
He is so spahzing out right now you would not believe – every second word is FUCK and he’s totally yelling. He’s so fucked. He just spent like two hours on the phone with the bank transferring the money and he’s swearing at me. I think he might lose it. You don’t think he would ever REALLY kill himself do you? I wouldn’t want that on my conscience. Maybe I should stop telling him what a fucking pervert and an asshole I think he is.
Nadia
March 17 at 10:04pm
Hahahahahaha omg I did the same thing in my car yesterday WITH THE WINDOW OPEN and pedestrians in earshot! I didn’t care, looking like a maniac!!!!
And unfortunately I know the addiction to the messages. I am renowned for my addiction to my phone. For every message you get from him but don’t write back, don’t give him any arsenal, you feel the power welling up. It just takes a few times to feel it. I have to be so strict with myself. Sharing them with a friend helps me, I can retort without writing back.
I would say try sleeping with your phone off HAHAHAHA like I’m able to do that LOL maybe tomorrow fuuuuck.
I can see him as gross and ugly now! Gross Turkish slime!!!!!
December
March 17 at 10:07pm
Yay. Yes I need a vacation from my phone and computer I am a harsh addict like you. So sad lol. That’s a good idea about sharing the messages to get your retorts out ha ha you are a clever little bitch.
I love it.
Nadia
March 17 at 10:07pm
For sure he wont kill himself. FOR SURE. He said it himself he’s too much of a coward. He would have done it already.
I just really don’t believe ANYTHING he says anymore. I don’t believe he’s worried about me. He’s just saying that to hurt you. Yes if the money is through, you are through!!!!!
December
March 17 at 10:09pm
Now he’s yelling at me and calling me a money hungry bitch ah ha ha.
SO NOT ME lol.
December
March 17 at 10:09pm
That’s wicked lol.
Nadia
March 17 at 10:13pm
Ugh hey, better than going to court! My friend is doing that right now with her fucked up ex for all the money he owes her, 16 grand or more, I hope it’s some vindication but i wouldn’t want to be in court over this.
Thanks - the bitch has to be put to good use sometimes lol. I’ll share one retort, the last one I censored myself from writing: my dad and I are laughing over these messages you are sending. Just humiliate him!!! But still, silence is better than anything. Though i swear to God, if I ever saw him out which I never will, I will definitely throw his drink in his face.
December
March 17 at 10:19pm
Omg you know what’s so funny – we are both message addicts and we are able to supply one another for our addictions to help us get over our addictions to HIS messages. GAWD the irony is so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol thank GOD HALLELULIA!!!!
Nadia
March 17 at 10:23pm
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha its so TRUE!!!!!!!! Omfg!!!!!!! That’s so hilarious. There should be something written about this, I wonder if this story resonates with anyone else out there???? Modern day deception, found out through the information highway, and the ironic path to healing!!!! I wonder…
But also I am planning to see a counselor for a couple sessions, I was going to call today. But fucking ironically I went to a therapist when the last relationship was fucked and over and now am picking up exactly where I left off!! But I was going to say it did SO MUCH for me, just several sessions with the right therapist. Sometimes friends are great but they don’t make you work.
December
March 17 at 10:34pm
Omg we could go on OPRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want me to look into it? Lol I would just have to write the story and try to convey all its delicious irony and send it to her.
Yes I have been thinking about seeing someone as well and i think its a really good idea. I was recommended to my naturopath’s guru who everyone says is amazing so I think I should go – I just need to see if I can get in anytime soon. VERY GOOD IDEA. Our minds have been so warped and twisted that we need some professional help fer sher.
December
March 17 at 10:35pm
That’s so awesome what you replied to him about you and your dad laughing OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
December
March 17 at 10:36pm
He said he went to look at puppies today GAAAAAAAAAAWD there is no end to his tactics.
December
March 17 at 10:38pm
Oh GOD i forgot to tell you -
He has had tons of calls from his friends telling him about all the postings there are of him out there ha ha – he asked if it was you or me doing it but I didn’t tell him anything just ignored it.
December
March 17 at 10:38pm
You know I wonder if there are people working for Facebook who sit here and read this shit – it’s pretty fucking entertaining if you ask me.
Nadia
March 17 at 10:44pm
HAHA oh he knew it was me he ‘asked me kindly’ to take them down. They had already been long deleted by admin. I wont say the reasons he thought I should take them down (after saying i can post whatever i wanted about him to feel better hahah) but his reasons were ultimately pathetic.
Well okay one: he said ‘its not like I’ve done this before.’
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!?!
He has crazy written over every manipulative message. Oh God esp the puppy one. my dog never liked him thank god.
I have turned on the heating blanket and am attempting to do a little meditation soon and hopefully be able to sleep. Btw if it helps you to talk about your relationship with him I can handle it. It’s no longer connected to my solar plexus.
December
March 17 at 10:48pm
Thanks. I will let you go now and do your meditation. I should close the computer too and do something healthy. Talking to you has been SO HEALTHY for me no doubt, but I am SUPER GLUED to this computer and that’s not.
Please have sweet dreams, I will pray for your happiness again tonight. I think you are just amazing and wonderful and I really appreciate you for everything. I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow lol.
Namaste. Peace. Love. D
December
March 17 at 10:50pm
And just so you know, I don’t think i could handle this situation (for real) if you did not exist. You have seriously helped me put everything into perspective, you have kept me occupied, kept my addiction fed, comforted me, and given me insight I could not have mustered out of myself in the midst of all the confusion and pain. You are an angel – truly. A real one.
Nadia
March 17 at 10:55pm
Thank you so much, what you feel I feel exactly the same. It’s amazing to me that we just kept writing through the realizations and have just started coming out the other side.
I would be so IN MY HEAD if it weren’t for this correspondence. Better to be at least getting it out through an addictive device than mashing up our brains even more than they already are!
I equally appreciate your support. Talk to you in the morning, yes.
